A little while back I put a post on social media, but I realized that I have more to say. Not everyone on social media who follows me actually knows me, so I wanted to share this story with you too! For those of you who did read it on social media, this is the expanded version.
Being authentic in today’s perfectionist society means having to be courageous and brave while defying “societal norms” and loving every morsel of your being. It’s hard and it’s scary. Being authentic makes you vulnerable to people’s judgement & comments. For me, when things started to change in my body, it was hard to be authentic because I wondered where I was.
A year and a half ago my hormone changes kicked my butt! For the past four years I’ve been having snippets of peri-menopause like facial flushes, anxiety, one hot flash (thank goodness no more as of yet!), and some mood swings. Well, Mother Nature decided to put everything into overdrive and my hormones really started getting wacky. I had a few episodes of vertigo last year. I was also having trouble sleeping, being wide awake at 1:30am and not being able to go back to bed for a few hours. I’m used to sleeping like a rock!
Then out of nowhere I gained 10 lbs and my muscles were dissolving right in front of me! I was working out 5 days/week, eating healthy, doing what I was “supposed” to be doing. When we had the pizzeria I ate at least 5 slices of pizza a day, 6 days/week for 4 years, worked out 3 days/week, was super stressed, and my body was as tight and muscular as it had always been. Now I was exercising more and eating better and my body was rebelling against me!
How do I continue to be authentically me when the body I’ve had for so many years is now changing right in front of me and my clients? What kind of a fitness role model am I if I can’t even keep it together? Seriously, this is what went through my mind. I’m human and sometimes emotions can get to me. Then I talked to myself like I would talk to a client. I would never be so tough on a client yet I was upset with what my body was doing to me. Oy! You know what? I’m more than my body! A conversation with a friend also helped re-frame my perspective on these body changes and I focused on embracing ME – all the parts of me. Being who I am, I did research on peri-menopause and how things changed chemically in our bodies. Wow! There’s no magic answer other than to listen to YOUR body. As we age, our physiology changes so we need to change our lifestyle as well. It’s not my body’s fault – it’s mine for not listening to it.
I needed to slow down. No news to anyone that I’ve functioned fast paced with everything for years. It was time to listen to my body. I started to train less. I walked more often and slower with Olaf. I made sure I got at least 8 hrs of sleep a night by creating sleep habits. I’ve practiced being “still” and being more present. I take better care of myself; float, chiropractic, massage, and acupuncture once/month. My hormones like the slower pace and they’re happy! I’ve adjusted to my “new normal” and you know what . . . I don’t mind this change! I’m strong. I’m smart. I feel empowered to embrace my gifts! I’m less stressed. It is ok. I am ok.
This isn’t only about hormone or body changes, this was my vulnerability to being authentic. This is about giving the finger to anything that detracts from who you are or makes you afraid to be you. I mean that in the nicest way possible. Always be you, even if it’s scary sometimes.